Book · English · Satire
Borrow. Delay. Repeat.
A very unserious guide to not giving money back.
A short satirical book about the tiny theatre of borrowed money, delayed promises, flexible conscience, and the people who somehow return like nothing happened.
Satire
Short read
Published on KDP
What It Is
A joke with a little too much truth inside it.
Borrow. Delay. Repeat. is written like a fake manual from the mind of someone who has perfected the art of asking, delaying, disappearing, and returning with a straight face.
It is not financial advice. It is satire about excuses, emotional timing, tiny manipulations, and the familiar social awkwardness of money between people.
Read the sample first. If it feels uncomfortably familiar, that is exactly the point.
Fit
Who it is for
- Readers who like short, direct satire with a modern social edge.
- Anyone who has heard "tomorrow" so many times it became a character trait.
- People who enjoy uncomfortable humour about everyday behaviour.
Read a preview
Excerpt: Intro and Chapter 1
This sample opens the voice of the book: confident, shameless, comic, and just close enough to real life to sting a little.
Free sample
Borrow. Delay. Repeat.
A very unserious guide to not giving money back.
Disclaimer
This book is satire.
If you try this in real life, you totally deserve the consequences.
Intro
Most people borrow money.
Few master the art of not returning it.
I have spent years perfecting this craft.
Today, I am sharing the playbook.
This is not about emergencies or real problems.
This is about technique.
How to ask.
How to delay.
How to disappear.
And how to return like nothing happened...
All while keeping a straight face and a very flexible conscience.
You will recognise parts of yourself.
Or worse... parts of someone you still call a friend.
If any of this feels uncomfortably familiar, good.
That means you are exactly where you should be.
Chapter 1 - Ask Nicely
I never begin with pressure.
I begin with atmosphere.
Amateurs ask for money like they are taking something from you. I do the opposite.
I invite you into a moment.
The message is always soft, slightly hesitant, and perfectly timed. Late evening, when you are tired enough to be kind, but not awake enough to question details.
I open with something human:
"Hey... this is a bit awkward."
"I hate to ask you this..."
That line is not about honesty.
It is about lowering your guard.
People are far more generous when they believe the kindness was their idea. So I never say, "I need you to send me money."
I build a story.
A small crisis.
A minor emergency.
Something believable... but inconvenient to verify.
Salary delayed.
Card blocked.
Random bill.
The classics.
I am not asking for money.
I am offering you a role: the reliable one.
The amount matters.
Too big, and you start thinking.
Too small, and it feels like a joke.
I choose the uncomfortable middle.
The number you can afford... but wish you did not have to.
That is where the craft lives.
Between your politeness and your doubt.
The full book continues through the art of promising tomorrow, creating confusion, vanishing politely, and returning like nothing strange happened.
Amazon
The Amazon link is coming soon.
The book is published through KDP. Once the public Amazon link is ready to share here, this section will point directly to it. For now, the free sample above gives readers a clean way to taste the tone before buying.